Category Archives: Food for Thought

The Four Brahma-Viharas

Blessed

These are four mindfulness practices which reveal the most beautiful and hopeful aspects of our human nature.  These practices teach us to respond wisely to life, creating a map of the heart as we learn to “be” kindness.  They brighten the mind and spirit.  They bring us clarity, peace, and joy.  Today I will talk about the first one.

Metta – Kindness

This begins by trusting and caring for myself.  Love and self-care is kindness, which allows me to flourish and grow.  When I sow seeds of kindness I discover that magic happens.  As a teacher, I can help people see strengths in themselves that they may not have seen.  And we both find joy.

Kindness involves exploring and experiencing the capacity of the heart.  I can meet each moment with kindness and learn kindness from the people who love me.  “If you treat someone with kindness, you are giving a gift for a moment.  If you teach someone to be kind, they will be happy for life.”

I need to notice when I am judging critically, an attitude I can turn towards myself as easily as towards others.  If I am aware I’m being critical, I can change my heart by sending loving thoughts, noticing what is good instead.  The effect of kindness meditation and sending metta, the loving kindness practice, is not necessarily going to change the course of life or circumstances, whether my own or for others.  Its true purpose and result is to transform me.  Working with obstacles gives me the opportunity to develop happiness, the happiness of trust in myself and engagement with whatever the world is dishing out to me or the others in my life.

My kindness grows when I experience the kindness of others.  A few years ago when I thought I might have kidney failure, I was devastated.  I was talking to my little sister about my fears.  She responded as the embodiment of kindness, saying with not a second of hesitation, “Don’t worry sissy.  You can have one of mine.”  Reflect!  Meditate on this!!  So many people have shown me enormous kindness.  Never forget the generous hearts or their gifts.  That is my inspiration.  I will strive to emulate.

A few years ago, I took part in a sweat lodge.  So many friends found spiritual growth this way; I wanted this experience too.  The initial ceremony was serious and beautiful.  I took my place inside—orders not to leave until the sign was given.  Within 10 minutes, I was panic incarnate.  I was done.   I felt devastated that by leaving I broke the ritual, letting everyone down.  I felt angry at myself—a spiritual failure.  Astoundingly, the two Sioux facilitators supported me completely, accepted me with abundant kindness.  They told me, “Don’t worry.  You are still participating.  Now, you are a fire watcher.”  They weren’t angry!  I learned that my path might be different from my expectations.  Following traditional teachings or practices is not going to work for everyone.  Ironically, I made my greatest discovery outside rather than inside the lodge—self-acceptance.