Self-acceptance

A few years ago, I took part in a sweat lodge.  So many friends found spiritual growth this way; I wanted this experience too.  The initial ceremony was serious and beautiful.  I took my place inside—orders not to leave until the sign was given.  Within 10 minutes, I was panic incarnate.  I was done.   I felt devastated that by leaving I broke the ritual, letting everyone down.  I felt angry at myself—a spiritual failure.  Astoundingly, the two Sioux facilitators supported me completely, accepted me with abundant kindness.  They told me, “Don’t worry.  You are still participating.  Now, you are a fire watcher.”  They weren’t angry!  I learned that my path might be different from my expectations.  Following traditional teachings or practices is not going to work for everyone.  Ironically, I made my greatest discovery outside rather than inside the lodge—self-acceptance.